In a system that is based on equality under the law, we have
become a land that sees some citizens as second-class citizens based on
religious teachings. I respect someone’s religious points-of-view for
themselves, but they have no place trumping the Constitution of the
country. No place.
It is time we quit quoting St. Paul and start reading our
own Constitution. We are a land of free men and women and we are one under the
law. There are no castes, no classes, no subjugated minorities here in America.
And when it comes to marriage, we have only one standard —that two people love
each other and swear their allegiances to one another to protect, honor and
obey each other in faithful unions. (I dare say there are many of us in the
straight world who have lived far below this standard…but the standard is just
as high for the gay couple as it is for the straight couple. Let’s hope they
can do better with it than we have. By the way, the last time I looked the
national divorce rate among straight couples stood right at 50%. Not sure the
argument that gay and lesbian marriage will diminish the institution of marriage holds up very well in that light.)
We used to not let black and white marry. We used to not let them tie the knot because “we” the people said it was not
acceptable. But “we” the people were proven wrong. There is nothing wrong with
people of different backgrounds, religious backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds,
financial backgrounds, geographical background come together in marriage — heck
we’ll now even let Republicans marry Democrats.
It is time that we put this nonsense out to pasture. If the
First Baptist Church of Dallas doesn’t want to preform the gay weddings, so be
it. That is their right. But they can’t deny the union of a marriage of a gay
couple, nor should any other entity — such as Baylor Hospital to name but one
of many, because it rubs their theology the wrong way. A lot of what Baptist believe
rubs me the wrong way, but in America I have to give them the right to worship
how they see fit, so long as it does not injure me, my family, or other members
of society. They can even be wrong — I still must allow them to practice their
views publicly and openly. And they and others must give Gay and Lesbian
couples the right to be married couples.
There are financial, legal and constitutional issues
involved here. Issues that do not have a place in the Old or New Testament.
They are issues of being citizen of a land that says we are one people, all
equal before the law.
There are none greater under the law and none lesser under
that same law. And if you take away the civil liberties of a minority because
you don’t like what they stand for, your rights then become weaker in the
process. That is always something to
which the Right-wingers and the religious zealots never get a grasp. The more
they try and narrow the playing field, the bigger chance they have of
eliminating their own rights down the road. Their own bigotry threatens the
very freedoms they fear of losing.
This discrimination is a two edged sword. Be careful my
straight friends. It can cut both ways. What happened to Roger and Allen could
come your way. The pendulum doth swing.
What Actually Happened To That Same-Sex Couple In The Missouri Hospital
There has been a lot
of speculation as to what actually transpired when Roger Gorley was arrested away from his husband Allen’s bedside
in a Missouri hospital earlier this week. Despite the fact Roger and Allen have
granted each other power of attorney for medical decisions, the Research
Medical Center claimed that Roger was “disruptive and belligerent,” arguing
that is why the police arrested him and removed him from the facility.
Now,
Roger’s daughter Amanda has shared a detailed account of what transpired that
paints a picture even more offensive than many may have imagined. The full account
can be read here as well as some
additional details she shared in an interview with blogger John
Aravosis. Here is a breakdown of the family’s circumstances and what transpired
in that hospital room according to Amanda:
The Couple’s
Background
- Allen suffers from severe depression and is currently undergoing electro-shock treatment (ECT) twice a month because his medications are no longer allowing him to function normally.
- Allen has specifically excluded his family from having any say over his medical decisions because they have not been understanding of the impact of his depression.
- Not only have Roger and Allen granted each other power of attorney, but they are known throughout the hospital as a proud gay couple because they are regularly there for Allen’s treatments.
- Allen’s family has not been supportive of his relationship with Roger.
How Allen Was
Admitted On Tuesday
- Amanda was taking care of Allen while Roger was at work at Tuesday, but when they returned home from a few errands, Allen’s brother Lee and sister Pat were waiting at the door with paramedics and police.
- Due to Allen’s sluggish state, the police determined he was a “danger to himself” and decided to take him to the hospital against his will. Rather than taking him to St. Luke’s Hospital in Lee’s Summit, the local hospital where his regular doctors are, they took him to the Research Medical Center in Kansas City, which he only goes to for his ECT. They ignored Amanda’s attempts to explain Allen’s medical needs and procedures.
- Amanda called her father, Roger, and urged him to get to Allen’s side immediately. When he arrived at the hospital, Lee was also there.
The Family
Confrontation
- Lee asserted that he was not going to allow Roger to make decisions for Allen and that he would instead. This enraged Roger, who replied, “No you won’t! This is my husband. I know what he wants and needs. You are never around. You need to leave.”
- The nurse informed Roger that because of his agitated state, he needed to leave. When he explained that he intended to stay with his husband, she replied, “I know who you two are. You need to leave.” Refusing to acknowledge their legal relationship, she called the police to have Roger forcibly removed.
- Allen, who was in and out of consciousness, objected as he was able, saying, “I want him here.”
- A follow-up story from Fox 4 suggests that Roger and Lee were having a loud fight, but doesn’t otherwise contradict this account.
The Violent Arrest
- The Kansas City police ordered Roger to leave, and when he did not comply, they considered this a refusal to cooperate and began to forcibly remove him. When Roger refused to let go of the gurney’s railing, an officer began karate chopping his wrists to get him to release.
- The police then wrestled Roger to ground, knocking his glasses off his face, his hearing aids out of his ears, and nearly breaking his wrist in the process. They put a knee to his back and wrenched his wrists around to arrest him. They changed his handcuffs four different times.
- The police assumed because Roger is gay that he must have HIV. The brutal struggle had drawn blood, and one officer was so disturbed that he insisted on using gloves to handle Roger and refused to even take back his handcuffs.
The Aftermath
- It took three hours to process Roger at the station and bail him out of jail.
- He was fined $600 for disorderly conduct and trespassing. Fox4 confirmed this from a police report.
- According to Amanda’s account, he was also issued a restraining order prohibiting him from stepping foot on the hospital grounds to see his husband.
- Later, the hospital finally asked Lee to leave as well, at Allen’s request.
The
hospital’s statement on Thursday claimed that there was no restraining order,
and according to Amanda’s last update, this was the first information
indicating Roger could see Allen again since his arrest on Tuesday. Aravosis
confirms via Amanda that the hospital did allow Roger back in to see his
husband Thursday night, but only after he “showed up and threw a fit.” She says
her family is considering its options and has been talking with the local ACLU
as they plan a response. Federal officials are similarly gathering evidence and
intent to respond “in a speedy manner.”
With
these details, both the hospital’s and police’s actions seem more suspect, not
less. At the foundation of the story remains the fact that Roger and Allen’s
relationship was treated as inferior. Because they did not have a
state-recognized marriage, they were regarded as legal strangers despite even
having set up the available legal protections for each other. Roger, in turn,
was subjected not just to discrimination but police brutality and legal
consequences. This tragic story speaks volumes about the consequences of
continuing to deny same-sex couples the right to marry and how they continue to
be treated as second-class citizens. Notably, not one conservative organization
has mentioned this story since it broke.
It is time
for us to put down the war drums over Constitutional issues because of
religion. Our entire foundation as a people, as a country, as a society was designed
and built to protect us against just such incursions. We didn’t want the Church
of England telling us how to live our lives or how to practice our theology.
Neither do we want the Evangelicals doing likewise today.
Roger and
Allen are just the tip of the iceberg. Many more have suffered outside of the
headlines and newsreels. I have had friends right here in Dallas to be treated
the same way as this couple in Missouri. This is a national disgrace. It is
time we stop this persecution, America. We send our uniformed young people
around the globe in armed defense of others’ freedoms…we should allow our own
people to be just as free.
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