Wednesday, December 12, 2012

What to do before the world ends on the 21st.


I have been wondering what I should do before December 21, 2012— the end of the world as the Mayans knew it.  I could take a quick trip to Europe. See pris one last time. Visit London. Go hang out with the Germans.  Or, I could go to the Great Wall of China. Maybe I could go take out the idiot in North Korea.  Or the ones in Iran.  No, they deserve to suffer like the rest of us will. I could visit Africa or South America. I could go surfing in Australia or New Zealand. Maybe take a dip in the Indian Ocean in Aceh.

There’s lots to do.

I could go and take a swing at Mitch McConnell. Or take a shot at Rush Limbaugh… proverbial or otherwise.  Hannity, too. I could go to Lake Louise in Canada or to Victoria on Vancouver Island. Maybe do some fly fishing in Scotland.

I could lease a new Ferrari. Who cares, I’m not going to have to pay for it. Jump in and drive it like mad. Ferris Bueller’s day off like mad. I could kidnap a Hollywood movie star and make her dance for me on a brass pole. (Does my wife get this blog?)

I could take all my money out of the bank, buy a bunch of food and feed all the poor I could find for one day. Maybe two.  I would need some help, so keep the 20th and 21st open.

If the world was going to end on 12.21.12, I could watch my top ten movie list one last time: I’d start with number ten — Toy Story and end up at number one — Shawshank  Redemption. I could reread Gone With the Wind. But why? I could take a long walk through a national park; say Zion for example.

I could sit and watch all the hoards of people fighting each other, trying to escape the coming doom.  Maybe I would buy a video camera and record their antics for some lost space traveler who might stumble upon the planet in say 2895.

I could set sail on the Gulf in a stolen yacht. Who cares if they chase you and try and catch you? The end of the world is just hours away.  Maybe I would go and free all the prisoners in all the prisons around the world. Maybe I would cook a giant meal and invite my friends over.

Maybe I would take a nap. All this planning is making me tired.  If I miss you on the 21st, have a good hereafter. If we are both still around on the 22nd, the Ferrari is your problem…I’m telling them you stole it.

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