God is speaking. Are you listening?

I was invited to sit in on a panel of writers the other day and discuss the future of publishing. I thought that was a rather presumptive topic, since none of us can truly predict the future. (Except that the Cowboys aren’t going to win a super bowl as long as JJ is the GM…that one’s got money on it.)

            After introductions, I spoke up and suggested that the topic should be about trends. Things happening today that could influence the near future and therefore shape publishing. Of the six panelists, four agreed with me and one did not. She insisted that the future was easy to ascertain. One of the other participants asked her how she could predict the future. She said, “It’s easy. I just ask God.”

            “God?”

            “Yes. I kneel and pray and ask him to show me the future and he does.”

            Eyes darted about the room. It was a bit uncomfortable. Nobody wanted to slam her as a religious fool, but it was tempting. “What does he say about the future?” Asked one of the other writers.

            “He told me you were going to have trouble finding a publisher.” She said it right to the woman’s face with no qualms about the words, which came out of her mouth. Straight forward — God says you are going to fail.

            “Really?” the woman who was the object of God’s information about not being able to ink a deal with a publisher just laughed. “It seems that God got his notes all confused.  I just signed a three-book deal last week with a major national house. My first book for them comes out in May.”

            There was a pause in the room as the fortuneteller squirmed. “Well, maybe the deal will fall through. God works in mysterious ways.”

            At this point I couldn’t resist jumping into the fray. It was way too good to let it pass. “Did you happen to seek God’s wisdom on the last presidential election?”

            “I did.” Said the woman with complete confidence and affirmation.

            “And what did he tell you then?”

            “That Mr. Romney was by far the best candidate for America. He would lead us away from the darkness Obama had brought to America.”

            “God said those exact words?” I asked, keeping a straight face.

           

            “Yes.”

            “What went wrong?” asked another writer, now enjoying the discussion.

            “I guess God changed his mind.” She never batted an eye about the thought that her theology just fell apart right in her lap.

            “So God tells you that Romney was the choice of his and he would win and then he changes his mind?” That doesn’t say a lot for the omni-power of the deity, now does it?” Not sure if I asked this or someone else did, but I was certainly thinking it.

            “God is free to change his mind. It is called free will.”

            It was at that moment I realized there was no talking to a born-again Republican Tea Bagger about anything. Their religion was so coated with Teflon that no matter what argument is placed before them, it slides right off. Logic included.

            But I had to press the point. “But you said Sally would not get a contract with a publisher. That is what God told you; and yet, she has. And from the sound of it, quite a nice one at that.  Did God just give you some bad intel?  After all, it sounds as if the event happened before God spoke to you?”

            The woman shrugged. “You don’t understand. Because you don’t have faith. Only those with faith can understand the mind of God. He speaks to us and his will is revealed.”

            And like that the argument was closed. God was saved for one more day.

            The rest of the conference went off as scheduled, although I noticed the moderator kept many tough questions away from our resident fortune teller.

            Last night I got on my knees and begged for information about Apple and Chevron and should I buy or sell.  Nothing.

            I guess God doesn’t play the markets.